Maria Teresa, I am about to have a
conversation with you. I know you are
dead, but I have a lot to share and ask you about.
When reading your story, I have to tell
you, there are all of these ways that you and I are alike.
You write so tenderly
in your little book everyday stating that you can't believe how advanced you
are for your age. I'm often living with the same perspective because I've never
lived with thinking that I'm going to be young forever. You know when someone
perfectly sums up something you've been having extreme difficulty to explain?
Stevie Nicks made everything seem this easy - she said "if you're into
writing, and situations of life, you get a kiss of sadness in everything you
do," which I strongly suffer from. Do you know what I mean? There is never a moment of pure happiness
that doesn't get an overlook into reality and worry for the future, and the
moment that's decaying. Even at the happiest moments, I can't help but think
about the friends that have stuck with me, the obstacles I've overcome, the
loves that were true, and the moments that have either healed or traumatized
me. I have a feeling you think about this stuff a lot - am I right?
I understand what it’s
like to be young and to not be taken seriously as if adults say "your
brain hasn't fully developed" so you're shunned for having an opinion
because you're not yet experienced. Experience doesn't have to do with how old
you are. Actually experience is an age-less effect in which you use your age to
an advantage to get heard. As a child our innocence is intriguing to the adult
world however our common sense about wars, fights, and disputes is rather
simple. There's such a contradiction of when adults listen to us and when they
tune us out. We see there is something wrong with the way we're living even
before we know the history of the problem. If the solution is so easy to
conclude why are we still debating about it? You did this when you were a
kid. You knew what Trujillo was doing
was wrong when you were just a kid. You
had a gut feeling about it, just like I do in my life all the time.
And so I continue to
live my 17 years of life experience with curiosity and fascination as if I'm
experiencing everything new, and the 17 years never passed. You were
curious too, and you just kept asking questions even when you knew the right
I once read out load in front of the
class that we've been dying since we were living - everyone laughed, and I
received my assignment with my teacher writing on it "this isn't
true." How is it not - we are constantly dying while we're living, isn't
that rather strange thing to think about? And what happens is we have Lana Del
Rey come out and sing "Born to die" and everyone calls her deep and a
As if we need to be an authority to
receive approval from an audience. That’s our flaws as humans - we don't listen
to people amongst us who are "no one’s" in the public eye just like
no one listened to you and some still want to ignore what I say. Ignorance
isn't bliss - it's just that ignorance. But "regular folks" are the
most honest because no one's watching them, so they don't have anything, or
anyone to represent or live for. Why is that? Why can't we open our ears and
listen to the people without an agenda? The ones that aren't getting paid to
say things and the ones that have an indescribable awareness for social justice
just like we had. It's no longer common sense that does the talking, its rip
able greedy money. It's eating away our emotions.
Lobbyists and campaigns don't exist for
regular people, so why are we taking part in a corruptive system? Wouldn't you
say the same Maria? It hurts me knowing how many things Trujillo got away with
because of his rank, and profit.
What if scientists, and
philosophers stopped thinking because they were comfortable - because they were
outnumbered by people telling them that the answers have been found, that the
system has been produced. What if they stood by the side lines? Where would the
Now, can I ask you some questions about
life that I have been having? You might
have the answers.
I cry while watching old people, I grow depressed when listening
to calmer music; I debate against myself after reading my diary entries.
Something about growing up and being older is depressing. Knowing that I
want to do all of these things, but my body physically won't let me do
everything when I am older and it becomes harder to move around.Maria,
what did it feel like to die when you only lived half of your life? Are you
proud of your diary entries? Do you wish your life story remained private or
was told so you can become the "known Maria?" How does it feel
knowing that you're respected today? That you left your legacy behind? Are you
the type of humanist that wishes to remain anonymous for your actions without applause
or did you want your story to be told to keep it alive? What happens when
you become an adult and enter into the world of no teen angst, or frustrations?
To me being stable is unstable because life is constantly changing and it
should be a flaw to be content.
It's hard to fight for
a cause knowing that arguing won't get anywhere. As women we need to stay
What if your family
didn't support your soul with all its doubts, insecurities and dreams? Should
you live loyally for your family although it’s not a mutual friendship with
your morals? What’s a personality trait you wish you had, but somehow seems
impossible to gain - how about standing up for yourself? That’s something
I'm still trying to learn. How can you be nice but still stand tall for your
convictions? Mother Teresa says "building something can take all night,
and the next day someone could destroy it, but build anyway." I'm
constantly trying to build anyway, and to be thoughtful anyway, even to people
who don't deserve my hello. Why do I strongly stay the same positive, uplifting
person towards everyone even after I've been wronged by someone? Because I
believe in hurt. I believe that although people are a majority, it doesn't mean
they're right. It just means they have a bigger audience to work with. Last
year I ran for President in my high school and a boy told me that I can't be
president because I'm a girl, but I proved him wrong. He continued cutting
classes, while I continued taking classes and I broke the cycle of being
intimidated by men and being seen as the 2nd citizen in mind. "All men were
created equal?" I don't believe so-"all humans are created
This is the last thing I want to say to
you, Maria Teresa:
Maria, don't ever let
someone tell you you're not worth something. Don't just say so, do so. Take a
stand for the respect you deserve, and the opinions you're voiced so powerfully
from your lower register. Protest. Write. Ask. Participate in life, and don't
let the majority rule you down. Stay strongly planted like a 200 year old tree
with unbreakable endless roots. Plant your seed of magic into the world and
rise-open yourself like a lotus flower. Your gut feeling is authentic - listen
So exactly where is Nova?
ANSWER : psst! SHE'S EVERYWHERE!
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NY souvenir t-shirts by Dalmatian Artists
Dalmatian Artists (my parents and I) created and produced a collection of NY souvenir t-shirts.